When Life Falls Apart

Welcome to today's conversation with God! His voice is the only one that is always true, so I filter all the other voices in my life through his word. I'm reading 1 Samuel 21 through 22:2. And what I see here is a man in trouble--a man full of fear, anxiety and desperation. Life had definitely turned south on David. His storybook rise to popularity and privilege has turned into a nightmare.

David took these words to heart and was very much afraid of Achish king of Gath. So he pretended to be insane in their presence; and while he was in their hands he acted like a madman, making marks on the doors of the gate and letting saliva run down his beard. (v. 12-13)

This isn't quite the same guy that boldly charged the giant, is it? This isn't the same man of faith who was confident that God would enable him to beat down that big bully. I mean, where is the David that fearlessly led dozens of conquests against Israel's fiercest enemies?

Life happened to David. Here's what I mean. God had always given him the outcome he had hoped for. He had won every battle. Until now. He went from hero to hated in the eyes of the king, and for the first time he felt totally vulnerable. That's a familiar place for me, God, and probably for lots of others. It's that moment where I realize that you don't seem to be helping me. You aren't coming through like you have before. Whereas faith had once given me almost a feeling of invincibility, it becomes starkly clear that my relationship with you doesn't guarantee me that I won't be badly hurt or that I cannot fail. I begin to wonder if you've withdrawn your favor.

That's when I start thinking that's it all up to me to save my own neck. That's when I try to scheme my way out of the problems I am facing. David was definitely in scheming mode at this point. He's lying to good people who would help him. He's running to people who are worse than Saul. And he ends up in a dark cave feeling the loneliness and depression close in around him.

God, I've been to that dark place before. Long sleepless nights. Troubled thoughts that hound me. Feelings of being abandoned. But it's a place where you can still be found. You met David in that cave. You reminded him that he should never take your help for granted. He needed to seek it. He needed to seek you. He needed to let his troubled thoughts find peace in the only one who is bigger than all of that mess he was in. It's wonderful, God, that even in the darkest place your light can emerge. As David wrote from within that cave:

The LORD is close to the brokenhearted
     and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
A righteous person may have many troubles,
    but the LORD delivers him from them all. (Psalm 34:18-19)

I'd love for you to share an experience of your own and what you learned from it. You can comment below, selecting "Anonymous" from the "Comment as" menu. And please take just a second to share this post with your friends on Facebook. It may be just what they needed today! (Click the Facebook "f" icon below.)